How to Deal with Social Anxiety at School

What is Social Anxiety?

mayoclinic.org defines it as:

[with]… social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, everyday interactions cause significant anxiety, self-consciousness and embarrassment because you fear being scrutinized or judged negatively by others.

While social anxiety can rear its head in many different types of settings, at school, it can begin to impact a student’s learning ability. A student with social anxiety at school may have difficulty:

• Attending class
• Participating in class discussions
• Reading passages aloud
• Presenting in front of the class
• Making friends
• In extreme cases: school refusal

There’s an important distinction to be made from social anxiety at school to general nervousness. Any person when put on the spot can feel nervous – this is a normal reaction. For me personally, I get nervous when public speaking. This is a very common and natural reaction when put into a situation like this. What turns a nervous feeling into social anxiety is when it transcends the situation. If you feel debilitating nervousness or anxiety about a particular social situation well before it happens, this can be a sign that it’s social anxiety.

Many students aren’t born with social anxiety. For many it’s a result of the learning environment they’re in. Many students can develop social anxiety in late middle school to early high school as class sizes get bigger and bigger. Not every student learns in this large-scale setting either. All of these different feelings are what can eventually develop into social anxiety.

Common Triggers of Social Anxiety at School

Classroom Situations

In today’s classrooms, it’s not unheard of for there to be anywhere from 20 to 30 students. For a student with social anxiety at school, these large classroom settings can make it extremely difficult to work. As discussed previously, presenting in front of the class is a very common trigger for social anxiety. In this situation a student may feel like there’s too many eyes on them. Another big trigger is group projects. Anytime a teacher mentions to find a partner, a student with social anxiety may have a fight or flight response. The final trigger, and the most common one is being called upon in class. This could be a teacher asking the student to answer a question or read a passage.

Social Interactions

Many students have a fear of social interactions outside of the classroom while at school. Interactions such as peer pressure, navigating the cafeteria, and making friends can all contribute to a student’s social anxiety at school. For many this can develop from a history of bullying or pressure from friends.

Performance Related Anxiety

When students have anxiety relating to tests, extracurriculars, or any situation where performance is evaluated, they have performance related anxiety. This can be particularly difficult as a student’s performance doesn’t necessarily reflect their true experience. This type of anxiety can also be spurred on due to the type of learning environment the student is in. If the student feels uncomfortable on a team, in a classroom, or another related location, it can affect them in this way.

Strategies for Students to Manage Social Anxiety at School

Now that we’ve discussed each type of social anxiety at school and their common triggers, let’s discuss strategies that a student can do to help manage it:

1. Over-Preparation

Preparation is a great way to go into an anxiety-fueled situation with confidence. This works extremely well with performance related anxiety but can also be applied to classroom situations and social interactions. The best way to prepare is to over-prepare. If you’re worried about an upcoming presentation, run through it multiple times. Get to the point where you have everything memorized. Then, when feeling ready, do the presentation in front of a small group of friends or family. This can go a long way in easing this anxiety.

2. Practice Relaxation Techniques

In the moment it can be difficult to calm social anxiety. Luckily, there are some proven techniques to help you slow down and ease the stress. The following are all ways that can help you relax when you begin to feel social anxiety at school:

• Deep breathing
  • You can practice deep breathing by slowly inhaling, counting to four, holding your breath for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds
• Visualization
  • Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. This can be a beach, a park, or anywhere that you consider peaceful. With your eyes closed, focus on sensory details in the scene. What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it look like? Upon fully immersing yourself, you’ll find you’re actually calming yourself down!
• 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
  • This technique helps you ground yourself in your environment to help ease your anxiety. The technique goes as follows: Identify 5 things that you can see, 4 things that you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Like the name implies, using this technique helps ground you. This can be an effective method for easing the social anxiety at school.

3. Seek Support from Trusted Teachers or Counselors

Building a reliable support network at your school is important. A great way to begin doing this is by talking with teachers after class. Get to know your teachers and when comfortable, open up a line of dialogue with them about your social anxiety at school. Teachers are great at offering a new perspective and giving tips and ideas on how to alleviate anxiety. It also helps to have someone you trust in the classroom too! Additionally, each and every school is required to have on-site counselors. These counselors are there for you and should be used in situations like this. Meet with your school’s principal and ask them how to get started.

Tips for Parents to Support Children with Social Anxiety

1. Encourage Open Communication

Easier said than done right? Having open communication is one of the best ways for a child to identify their social anxiety and takes steps to overcome it. Creating a safe, non-judgmental environmental for your child to share their feeling sis key. Encourage them to open up about their experiences at school. What kind of social situations are they in? What specific anxieties do they have?

2. Practice Social Skills at Home

Once there’s a line of open communication, it can be a good idea to propose role-play situations in which your child can practice their social skills at home. As mentioned above, these could range from practicing a presentation in front of you to making practice tests for your student. It all comes down to what social anxiety at school your student has. We recommend encouraging this practice as frequently as needed since it will help your child gain confidence in high-anxiety situations.

3. Consider Professional Help if Needed

In some cases, a student’s social anxiety at school can become so detrimental that it may be worth looking into a professional. Therapists, counselors, and psychologists are all great considerations for a student that struggles with social anxiety. Each case of social anxiety is different which is why it’s important for a professional’s opinion. As mentioned above in the student strategies section, it could be worth meeting with your child’s school counselor to decide what they think the next step is. They may have referrals for your child as well.

Anxiety is Temporary!

The important thing to note is that anxiety is temporary! I hope with these tips and strategies that I discussed; you and your student are better able to navigate their social anxiety at school! I highly recommend looking into school alternatives as well if you think the school they’re currently at is not the right fit. Here at Tenney School Live, we serve students from grades 5 – 12 and offer one-to-one, synchronous online classes! If this sounds like the right fit for your student, I highly recommend inquiring today so you can see how we can help you!

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